It’s Valentine’s Day! Love it or hate it, there’s no way to avoid it.
In my experience, there was a window of time when Valentine’s Day was amazing. It was when our relationship was still new enough to feel exciting but serious enough to be worth celebrating.
In our early years of being together, we lived in a house share and our housemates were all single. When Valentine’s Day came around, there were lots of jokes about people who actually buy into it and how stupid and shallow it all is. “What a load of rubbish” they said to which I nodded and laughed along. But the truth is we were young and in love and we wanted to buy into it. That year, we waited until everyone was asleep, crept back downstairs, filled the room with candles and cooked that dinner for two and drank champagne. We were so happy and so excited to be together – we wanted to celebrate that.
In contrast, there have been some less romantic Valentines days for us. There can be so much pressure to have the most romantic day of the year but that it not always how you feel. At times it just feels awkward. We have often had that wooden experience of sitting face to face in a room full of other couples sitting face to face with their partners trying to muster up the dewy sparkly feeling from when we were first together. You try to think of something profound and loving to say but really your mind is wondering about that deadline looming tomorrow morning or how to fix that stubborn patch of damp in the front room. But we go along with ‘the process’ – because it’s Valentine’s Day, right?
I know how to feign offence if I don’t get flowers, to try and buy a present that is equal in value to the gift I am expecting to get, to try and think of something quirky and original to make it different this year. But in truth, I don’t care about Valentine’s Day in itself, it is what it represents that I am after. I want that heady feeling when I see my husband walking through a crowd and he hasn’t seen me yet, the butterflies in my tummy when we are out and he catches my eye across the room, the excitement and the love. It’s the romantic love that Valentine’s Day represents that I want to feel. In amongst the madness and rush of everyday life, it’s the love that I want to breath in and feel and I want have that in ten, twenty, thirty years……I don’t want to become house mates, ever.
So this Valentine’s Day, whatever plans you have, try this 15 second tip to re-capture your spark with your partner. It’s completely free so what have you got to lose.
When you see your partner today give them a kiss. Not just a quick kiss but for at least 15 seconds. Close your eyes, don’t pull away and feel yourself reconnect with that person you have chosen to journey through life with.
Now that is worth a million roses.